Sexual Fantasy & Reality

I have spoken to many people about their sexual fantasies over the years. Some are excited by their fantasies, while others are ashamed and in some ways fear them. Some indicated that they truly hoped their fantasies could be realized and others only used their fantasies as a means of sexual enhancement.

The Fantasy

The first thing I should note is that there is nothing wrong with having sexual fantasies. It is normal to do so and most people have them at one time or another in their lives. This does not mean that everyone conceals some deep, dark sex fantasy that would make most people blush and cause relationships to crash and burn. What it does mean is that we like to use the imagination to spice up our sex lives by adding a little coal to the fire.

Just because you fantasize does not mean you love your partner any less. You may have a fantasy that involves group sex or perhaps you fantasize about your partner being pleasured by another. You may fantasy about being with another. This does not mean that you are sick and perverted. In most cases these are only used for arousal purposes and would never be desired in reality.

The Reality

The reality is that most people just want to have fun and meaningful sex with their partners. However, there are some that for various reasons seek out the opportunity to make their fantasies become reality. When fantasy meets reality problems can certainly arise. Unfortunately, your fantasy may not be the same as your partners. This has to be addressed carefully.

Be honest with yourself and your partner about the sexual fantasies you are having if you are truly wishing to pursue them. If they are for sexual arousal purposes only than it is better to keep them in your imagination only. My concern is always to ensure better sex in the sexual relationship for both of the people involved. Communication, as I have stated a zillion times, is the secret to getting there. Here is hoping you will get the most out of your sexual fantasies.